Thinking about how you have responded to conflict, read the definitions and verses below, then honestly examine the attitudes and actions you have used. Not which behavior is true about you. Use this exercise to discern how you have sinned, and what you need to confess to God and others in order to be reconciled.
❏ Anger: I have lost my temper, become agitated and allowed anger to fester, causing strife.
Prov 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.
Eph 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
❏ Bitterness: I have allowed a harshness and bitterness to creep into my heart.
Eph 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Heb 12:15 See to it that no-one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
❏ Not submitting: I have refused to honor my brothers and sisters or refused to follow those in authority over me.
Rom 8:7 the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.
Eph. 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
❏ Selfish ambition: I have been looking out for my own interests first, before or instead of the interests of others.
Php 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
❏ Pride: I have made myself, my position or my reputation, the object and subject of the issue rather than the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Php 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
❏ Malice: I have harbored ill-will and/or a desire to injure those against me.
Col 3:8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.
1Pet 2:1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.
❏ Divisiveness: I have been contentious, promoting controversy rather than peace.
Titus 3:10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.
1Tim. 1:4 nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. These promote controversies rather than God’s work — which is by faith.
❏ Stubbornness: I have resisted change or correction and stood firm on my position.
Psa 81:12 So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.
Prov 29:1 A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed--without remedy.
❏ Unforgiving: I have been slow to forgive, or I have stated that I have forgiven while holding on to anger and hurt. I have failed to forgive others as Christ has forgiven me.
Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Mat 18: 32-33 "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?'
❏ Unreconciling: I have refused to meet with a brother or sister to be reconciled, claiming I am too hurt or do not trust the person—effectively choosing not to be reconciled.
Mark 9:50 “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”
Rom. 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
❏ Sexual impurity: I have engaged in sexual fantasies, impure thought-life or behavior such as adultery, pornography or sexual immorality.
Eph 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these areimproper for God's holy people.
Col 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
❏ Misuse of authority: I have used power, manipulation or control to gain advantage.
Mark 10:42 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.”
1Pet 5: 2-3 Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
Personal Examination Worksheet by Jim Van Yperen of Metanoia Ministries © 2008
To go to Exercise #2: Examining your heart and speech
For help in how to make a confession
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Personal Examination Worksheet by Jim Van Yperen of Metanoia Ministries © 2008
